Haan, so yesterday I’d gone to get my hair done at my fave salon, Hairy Tales, which is just on Aunty Pussy’s backside, when a young si girl with a big Channel bag (I think so fake) came in and said to Rosie who usually does my hair, “Listen, could you please give me sad make up?” “Sad make-up?’ asked Rosie.
“Haan, I want a sad haunted si look. Like Angelina Jolly when she was having her divorce”. “Haw! You are also having divorce?” “No, no, I’m going to funeral. But it’s a society funeral, na. Lots of big rich types will be there and I want to look sad but beautiful. I’ve bought a designer outfit in black crape. There was also one in off the shoulder black lace but I didn’t want to look over”.
“The funeral’s in your family?” I asked. “Not exactly”, she said, opening a magazine and flickering through its pages. “It’s in my sister-in-laws ki family. Her husband’s mother’s brother’s wife. She had sugar and heart and blood. Hai Rosie look, what a cute sa hairstyle! Just see how her hairs are escaping in wisps from that updo. So sexy. But also looking like you were combing your hair when you heard the sad news and you rushed out head along. Hai, please make me like this only. And nude lipstick and pale si foundation and not full smoky eyes but half-ish”.
“Will photographers be there?” I asked. “From GT vaghera?”
“You never know”, she pouted. “But actually who I’m hoping will be there, even more than GT photographer, is my sister’s husband’s first cousin from his mother’s side”. “Is he handsome?” asked Rosie holding up false eyelashes for her.
“No, I don’t think so fake eyelashes”, she said. “But lots of mascara. Vaisay tau he’s a bit shortish, darkish and baldish”.
Before Rosie and I could say anything she added:
“He has two textile mills, a big construction business and a bank and flats in London, New York and Dubai. And after today I’m hoping he’ll send a rishta. Hmm, Rosie I think so I should put the false lashes.”
“Haan, I want a sad haunted si look. Like Angelina Jolly when she was having her divorce”. “Haw! You are also having divorce?” “No, no, I’m going to funeral. But it’s a society funeral, na. Lots of big rich types will be there and I want to look sad but beautiful. I’ve bought a designer outfit in black crape. There was also one in off the shoulder black lace but I didn’t want to look over”.
“The funeral’s in your family?” I asked. “Not exactly”, she said, opening a magazine and flickering through its pages. “It’s in my sister-in-laws ki family. Her husband’s mother’s brother’s wife. She had sugar and heart and blood. Hai Rosie look, what a cute sa hairstyle! Just see how her hairs are escaping in wisps from that updo. So sexy. But also looking like you were combing your hair when you heard the sad news and you rushed out head along. Hai, please make me like this only. And nude lipstick and pale si foundation and not full smoky eyes but half-ish”.
“Will photographers be there?” I asked. “From GT vaghera?”
“You never know”, she pouted. “But actually who I’m hoping will be there, even more than GT photographer, is my sister’s husband’s first cousin from his mother’s side”. “Is he handsome?” asked Rosie holding up false eyelashes for her.
“No, I don’t think so fake eyelashes”, she said. “But lots of mascara. Vaisay tau he’s a bit shortish, darkish and baldish”.
Before Rosie and I could say anything she added:
“He has two textile mills, a big construction business and a bank and flats in London, New York and Dubai. And after today I’m hoping he’ll send a rishta. Hmm, Rosie I think so I should put the false lashes.”