I’m very superstitious these days. I was wondering if I should write my column this week. My Better Half advised that it would be a good omen if I left it to her, instead of writing it myself, so as not to attract the Evil Eye. So I told her to go ahead. She began with high-pitched shrieking laughter, and various incantations. Then began writing: “A curse on The Great Khan’s detractors, may they stew in a huge bronze cauldron of boiling water with salt and chilies. May we hear their cries from Bunny Gala all the way up to the bucolic Governor’s House in Nathiagali where we are presently stationed. May The Curse be upon them”. More High-Pitched Shrieking Laughter. Loud Salutations and Flamboyant Chants. “O Great One! Hear the Lamentations of The Wronged. Enable The Great Khan’s voice to reach the entire international community via the United-e-Nations-e-New York. AAAAAA…!!”
I took one look at My Better Half’s copy and thought, er, maybe I should write the diary myself, after all.
What should I start with? My Better Half interrupted my train of thought which left for Rawalpindi many moons ago, and I’ve clearly missed it. But never mind. We’re both in some otherworldly zone these days. So here are a few messages from The Twilight Zone:
First message for Maulana Fazlurrahman, my large opponent, in league with Nawaz Sharif, my arch opponent. Maulana, here are Top Five Signs You’re Fat. 1. Huge behind. 2. Can’t walk far. 3. Difficulty in wearing clothes. 4. Can’t see feet. 5. Addicted to food. And now for my message for the Prime Minister. Top Five Signs We’re Broke. 1. The Boyz make up with the Yanks. 2. Rupee crashes. 3. Dar blames you & Co. 4. Marvi has meltdown and catfight.
There is only one solution to our economic meltdown. We must immediately ban bank interest. Or at least, we can’t call it “interest”. We can call it “modaraba” or “marhaba” or “maharaja” or even “marbella”, but not interest.
I took one look at My Better Half’s copy and thought, er, maybe I should write the diary myself, after all.
What should I start with? My Better Half interrupted my train of thought which left for Rawalpindi many moons ago, and I’ve clearly missed it. But never mind. We’re both in some otherworldly zone these days. So here are a few messages from The Twilight Zone:
First message for Maulana Fazlurrahman, my large opponent, in league with Nawaz Sharif, my arch opponent. Maulana, here are Top Five Signs You’re Fat. 1. Huge behind. 2. Can’t walk far. 3. Difficulty in wearing clothes. 4. Can’t see feet. 5. Addicted to food. And now for my message for the Prime Minister. Top Five Signs We’re Broke. 1. The Boyz make up with the Yanks. 2. Rupee crashes. 3. Dar blames you & Co. 4. Marvi has meltdown and catfight.
There is only one solution to our economic meltdown. We must immediately ban bank interest. Or at least, we can’t call it “interest”. We can call it “modaraba” or “marhaba” or “maharaja” or even “marbella”, but not interest.
Im the Dim