It is relieve to be back in Raiwind, meray aziz humwatno, from that sterile town Islamabad. Ever since my arrival, I have been stroking knives and doing bakras. I know it sounds dearie, sorry dreary, but it is custom and stops bad looks, nazars.
My head bearer said that sir, you don’t have to do bakras yourself. Let me do them in my village. You can send money to my brother and he will do as many bakras as you like.
I said, “never! Your brother will khao the money and the bakras too!” He hung his head in shame and said, “sir, my brother is not cheap embezzler”. “No”, I said, “he is expansive embezzler. Haw many times I have sent money to him to do bakras and learnt from local SHO that your brother had done new marriage and many degs at Eid Ul Azha, hain ji, but not even one bakra on my behalf?”
Then my bearer said sorry from the bottoms of his heart, on behalf of his fraud brother.
I am going to have a big, sumptuous Eid lunch and invite everyone who’s been nice to me – and WILL NOT invite all those who’ve been nasty to me.
And that’s a long list: starting with all five judges who disqualified me, Imran Khan, Sheikh Rashid, Musharraf, the entire JIT, all critical media anchors & ghaddar presswallahs.
Of course I am inviting Maulana Fazlurahman and even, ahem, Asif Ali Zardari because I am hopping to do a patch-up with him.
I have also minded the fact that many of my party people have gone abroad at this critical time far me. Take this sworn loyalist who said he was going to do Umra to say thanks God far my safe arrival in Lahore and then Intelligence Bureau told me that he got two business class tickets to Dubai and made booking in a false name (Mr & Mrs D Khan) at the Humaira Beach Hotel. One room. Double. With Jacuzzi. Shame on him for leafing me in lurch, lat alone his lady wife.
My head bearer said that sir, you don’t have to do bakras yourself. Let me do them in my village. You can send money to my brother and he will do as many bakras as you like.
I said, “never! Your brother will khao the money and the bakras too!” He hung his head in shame and said, “sir, my brother is not cheap embezzler”. “No”, I said, “he is expansive embezzler. Haw many times I have sent money to him to do bakras and learnt from local SHO that your brother had done new marriage and many degs at Eid Ul Azha, hain ji, but not even one bakra on my behalf?”
Then my bearer said sorry from the bottoms of his heart, on behalf of his fraud brother.
I am going to have a big, sumptuous Eid lunch and invite everyone who’s been nice to me – and WILL NOT invite all those who’ve been nasty to me.
And that’s a long list: starting with all five judges who disqualified me, Imran Khan, Sheikh Rashid, Musharraf, the entire JIT, all critical media anchors & ghaddar presswallahs.
Of course I am inviting Maulana Fazlurahman and even, ahem, Asif Ali Zardari because I am hopping to do a patch-up with him.
I have also minded the fact that many of my party people have gone abroad at this critical time far me. Take this sworn loyalist who said he was going to do Umra to say thanks God far my safe arrival in Lahore and then Intelligence Bureau told me that he got two business class tickets to Dubai and made booking in a false name (Mr & Mrs D Khan) at the Humaira Beach Hotel. One room. Double. With Jacuzzi. Shame on him for leafing me in lurch, lat alone his lady wife.
NS