Sorrow, meray aziz humwatno, afsos that there is only bad news this week. Heat is soaring, load shedding is increasing, Supreme Court is grilling, and people are fasting. What I can do, hain ji?
When I was in Riyadh, all dressed up with nowhere to go, Al-King said to me, “brother, we have to fight extremist terrorism”. I said, “Ahlan wa sahlan, brother! I never thought I’d live to hear you say it! Shall we start with banning your donations to Pakistani madrassahs? Or shall we start with banning jihadist recruitment financed by you? Or shall we start with muzzling hate-speakers brainwashed by you?” To my surprise, Al-King turned a deaf ear and started talking about Iran as the font of world terrorism. “Really? But I thought 13 out of 16 hijackers on 9/11 were from your country, brother, not Iran. And I thought it’s you who’ve so generously spent $ 50 billion on spreading Wahhabi-Salafi Islam throughout the world, not Iran. And I thought it’s you who’ve underwritten the Afghan Mujahidin, Taliban, Al Qaeda, Boko Haram, Daesh, ISIS and all Laskhars, not Iran. I thought it was you who was buying weapons, fighting reformists in Bahrain, Yemen and Syria, not Iran”. Again, Al-King turned deaf ear. Then he said, “do you need aid from us?” I rubbed hands and replied, “of course, brother, just as you need hearing aid from us.”
On return home, I learnt that Supreme Court is grilling family. Doctor is saying please sir take double dose of Nescol. WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, I shotted. S-s-so sorry sir, I meant Lescol. Anti-cholestrol medication. Actually, I need holiday. Plan holiday, I told PA. Of course, sir, I will plan a cruise on Nile and Nielson. WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, I shotted. S-s-so sorry sir, I meant tributary of Nile, son of Nile. And while on cruise, would you like to go OFF SHORE, he asked. WHAAAT?? S-s-so sorry, Sir! I need some relief. Put on latest Bollywood film, I told PA. Yessir, shall I put on Qatarina’s latest? WHAAAT? S-s-so sorry, sir, I meant Katrina Kaif.
You see, meray aziz humwatno, whatever is on brain is on lips.