Lo and behold, who should call me but Donald Trump! I was in Bani Gala, in what you might call a joint session of my very own parliament, when my cell phone rang and rang. I didn’t pick it up because VIPs don’t pick up their phones. “For God’s sake, pick it up”, said my inner voice, “you never know. It might be Donald Trump”. What a good idea, I thought and sure enough, it was The Donald.
He said, “why don’t you pick up your phone? I haven’t got all day”. To which I said, “but I do”. Then he said, “I wanted to ask if you minded being PM”. To which I said, “not at all”. To which Trump said, “good. I’ll keep that in mind”, and then he hung up.
My inner voice said to me I had better get ready and go to the Supreme Court to take oath. So off I went. They weren’t expecting me, Their Lordships in their wigs etc. But I noticed that the Supreme Court is very clean. “It shouldn’t be”, I said to Their Lordships, “cleanliness is a sign of weakness”. Their Lordships ignored this and pointing to a chair said, “have a seat”. “Thanks, that’s exactly what I’ve come for.”
Then I noticed that I was suddenly transported to Annabel’s, London’s top anti-imperialist Left wing nightclub. Where a Greek shipping magnate, Taki Takeitupthenos, offered me a hefty donation for the PTI, which I rejected.
Then suddenly I was in Bani Gala again, but I decided to write a letter to Their Lordships at the Supreme Court: “Your Lordships, you’re very nice but you’re not listening to the voice of the people of Pakistan which is this: Pakistan needs a man with vision. A man from Bani Gala with a mane of dark hair. A man with a well-toned body honed to perfection in the home gym. A man who won the cricket World Cup. I’m not naming names because you’re confused and I don’t want to make things worse. That’s why I’m sending this letter in confidence to the people of Pakistan via The Friday Times.”
He said, “why don’t you pick up your phone? I haven’t got all day”. To which I said, “but I do”. Then he said, “I wanted to ask if you minded being PM”. To which I said, “not at all”. To which Trump said, “good. I’ll keep that in mind”, and then he hung up.
My inner voice said to me I had better get ready and go to the Supreme Court to take oath. So off I went. They weren’t expecting me, Their Lordships in their wigs etc. But I noticed that the Supreme Court is very clean. “It shouldn’t be”, I said to Their Lordships, “cleanliness is a sign of weakness”. Their Lordships ignored this and pointing to a chair said, “have a seat”. “Thanks, that’s exactly what I’ve come for.”
Then I noticed that I was suddenly transported to Annabel’s, London’s top anti-imperialist Left wing nightclub. Where a Greek shipping magnate, Taki Takeitupthenos, offered me a hefty donation for the PTI, which I rejected.
Then suddenly I was in Bani Gala again, but I decided to write a letter to Their Lordships at the Supreme Court: “Your Lordships, you’re very nice but you’re not listening to the voice of the people of Pakistan which is this: Pakistan needs a man with vision. A man from Bani Gala with a mane of dark hair. A man with a well-toned body honed to perfection in the home gym. A man who won the cricket World Cup. I’m not naming names because you’re confused and I don’t want to make things worse. That’s why I’m sending this letter in confidence to the people of Pakistan via The Friday Times.”
Im the Dim