Bhai what I don’t understand is this: if Donald Trump can build a wall all around America and get Mexico to pay for it why can’t I build a second wall around my house and get the whole of Gulberg to pay for it? After all it’s not my fault that the Gulberg wallahs, oho baba my neighbours, are so noisy with the gaana bajana at their shaadis that I’m kept up till the weep hours. Last night there was a shaadi in the next lane but the dhol was so loud, so loud that the dhol wallah may as well have been standing by my bed. And that also till 3:30am! Such a big My Grain I’ve got today kay don’t even ask. Honestly, delicate, sensitive types like me, we tau just can’t take it. The whole reason you live in Gulberg and not Changarh Mohalla is because you think that Gulberg Wallahs are khandani types with good bagground, and not cheapsters with No 2 baggrounds who play a dhol on your head till 3:30am.
Vaisay talking of khandaanis, you know what my friend Sunny told me yesterday? Her Indian friend, Kitty Kapoor, real high society, party aunty in Delhi, her daughter just had a baby and you know what party she threw for her friends after the birth? A placenta party! Ji haan! Apparently Kitty’s daughter had saved up her placenta and she served it up to her friends chopped up and stuffed into pancakes. Imagine karo! Placenta pancakes! Apparently it’s very nutritious meat full of vitamins vaghera. And eating it makes you Mother Earth or someone like that. And all this time I thought all Indians were vegetables. Sorry, I mean vegetarians. Vegetarians chhorho, they’ve tau turned out to be canimals! Honestly, I tell you the world is coming to an end: Gulberg has become Changarh Mohalla and Indians have become canimals! What more prove do you need?