What do you think of my latest U-Turn? Even I wasn’t expecting it. Let me remind you. On September 30, I declared that my party and I would definitely attend the joint session of parliament and on October 4, I said “no can do”. Is there method in my madness? How would I know? Ask the Managers of Madness. Anyway, having missed out on parliament’s joint session, I had a joint session of my own with my friends in Nathiagali. And great fun it was too!
But let me assure you that boycotting parliament was not a unilateral decision on my part. We had a highly democratic inter-party debate on it. I put it straight to everyone: “you have a choice. You can agree with me to boycott parliament or you can agree with me to quit the party. So, no conflict. Agreement all round”. A few people did try and dissuade me. “With your permission, Your Ultimate Hunkyness & Gorgeousness, may I suggest that you reconsider your decision to boycott the Most Horrid & Dishonest, Lost Moral Authoritiness & Bogusness Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif & Utterly Counterfeity & Hoaxy Parliament, thank you, Your Scrumptiousness?” asked one member. “Any other dissenters?” I snapped. “Er Your Heavenly Bodiness, I would also like to suggest that we as a party consider the delicacy of the moment given the human rights violations in Kashmir and indeed your own firm stance, Your Imperial Head & Shoulderness, only three days ago Your Gloriousness declared that we WOULD attend the joint session of parlia – ” “THAT’S ENOUGH, VERMIN! I’m offering you a democratic choice – either tow the line or death”. Upon which everyone bowed and scraped and exclaimed in unison, “HAIL the mighty Khan! Your Sublime Adolf Hilterness!” but then some wimp had the temerity to differ, “Er, Your Most Arrogant Haughtiness, there may be a little snagette in this … we are after all members of parliament and we care about what people think of us and er the media …” “SHUT UP, WIMP!” I shouted, “NOW GIVE ME MY HITLER MOUSTACHE and let’s do the fascist salute and end of meeting!”
But let me assure you that boycotting parliament was not a unilateral decision on my part. We had a highly democratic inter-party debate on it. I put it straight to everyone: “you have a choice. You can agree with me to boycott parliament or you can agree with me to quit the party. So, no conflict. Agreement all round”. A few people did try and dissuade me. “With your permission, Your Ultimate Hunkyness & Gorgeousness, may I suggest that you reconsider your decision to boycott the Most Horrid & Dishonest, Lost Moral Authoritiness & Bogusness Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif & Utterly Counterfeity & Hoaxy Parliament, thank you, Your Scrumptiousness?” asked one member. “Any other dissenters?” I snapped. “Er Your Heavenly Bodiness, I would also like to suggest that we as a party consider the delicacy of the moment given the human rights violations in Kashmir and indeed your own firm stance, Your Imperial Head & Shoulderness, only three days ago Your Gloriousness declared that we WOULD attend the joint session of parlia – ” “THAT’S ENOUGH, VERMIN! I’m offering you a democratic choice – either tow the line or death”. Upon which everyone bowed and scraped and exclaimed in unison, “HAIL the mighty Khan! Your Sublime Adolf Hilterness!” but then some wimp had the temerity to differ, “Er, Your Most Arrogant Haughtiness, there may be a little snagette in this … we are after all members of parliament and we care about what people think of us and er the media …” “SHUT UP, WIMP!” I shouted, “NOW GIVE ME MY HITLER MOUSTACHE and let’s do the fascist salute and end of meeting!”
Im the Dim