You know, every time I bring up Dubai in a conversation, people seem to have something negative to say. It’s fake or too expensive or there’s nothing to do but shopping (blah blah). Yes ladies and gentlemen, Dubai is fake. In fact, the Palm Jumeirah is an artificial island that may or may not be sinking into the ground (Google can’t seem to give me a definitive answer on this). Also, shopping is a huge attraction and it can be very pricey. In the past, I’ve always visited Dubai with the fam bam and I, too, thought it was an exhausting experience. This time however, I went with my girlies, and let me just tell you: I love Dubai.
Yes guys, Dubai is awesome. In fact, if you really think about it, creations like The Palm or Burj Khalifa (the tallest structure in the world) are truly wonders. How do you even go about making land on water or constructing a super tall building that constantly glitters at nighttime? Especially in that heat? I mean, stepping outside into the Dubai atmosphere always feels like a surprise. I imagine it’s very similar to what a chicken experiences when it is Sous Vide in an airtight bag. Building Dubai couldn’t have been easy. Anyway, Dubai has much to offer if you know where to go and what to do. Thank me in advance yet again my darlings, because I’m going to tell you some tips and tricks to make your Dubai vacay one to remember.
The Burj Khalifa by night
"I'd never move to Dubai. A Maserati isn't a Maserati if everyone has it!"
***
It was July 2016 and Anam, Sanam, and Zara had finally made it to Dubai - their first trip together as a troupe since they were pretty much born. It was a general consensus that the group would spend about 8 hours a day at the mall, but everyone was most excited about going to the Atlantis Adventure Park - and rightfully so. It was hot outside but the water was cool, and smoking was allowed everywhere in the park, even while walking. Once there, the girls rushed over to Poseidon’s Revenge, apparently the scariest ride at the park. Here, the noise of adults screaming was loud enough to drown out the noise of children crying, and the girls couldn’t wait to climb to the top of the tower and dare each other to actually go through with the ride. On their way to the line, the girls were approached by a lifeguard.
“Are you girls from Pakistan?” he asked with a slight grin.
Seriously guys, please don’t pull a desi and wear your cotton tights and t-shirts to the Atlantis Adventure Park. Costumes on location are highly expensive and you won’t be allowed to sit on most of the rides if you don’t follow the appropriate dress code (wearing bikinis is more fun anyway so just do it).
Ditch the fam, or anyone else that you may have to hide your shenanigans from. Dubai has much to offer if you are a free bird.
Remember to visit the Zara store each and every day, even if you keep going back to the same mall. They update their stock daily and the clothes are ah-mazing!
Don’t go looking for drugs and watch out for cigarette burns on the dance floor.
Did you know that the Mall of the Emirates is the optimal size of a mall because a customer can hypothetically walk the entire perimeter in an hour? It really is the best place to go shopping when you’ve got a long list and not enough time.
Find some desi’s. If you know someone, go out with them and make some contacts. Pakistani people (Lahoris in particular, of course) tend to be the most fun anywhere in the world.
The author has a rather 'different' perspective on Dubai than most that you'd hear
***
The evening before their flight back, the girls sat down for a final recap and last words.
“I’d move to Dubai because I love shopping,” Sanam declared, sighing with soon-to-be-post vacation blues. “What a life it must be to be able to access all kinds of clothes in one place.”
“I’d move to Dubai because it has Shake Shack, and PF Chang’s, and even Gordon Ramsey’s Beef Wellington”, Anam sighed, thinking about the distinct salty umami taste that accompanies a well-cooked Shake Shack burger. “What a life it must be to be able to eat Dynamite Shrimp whenever you like.”
“I’d never move to Dubai,” Zara chirped in, suddenly killing the mood. “A Maserati isn’t a Maserati if everyone has it.”
