It’s tragic about Amjad Sabri. He was a fine qawwal, a wonderful votary of that splendid tradition of an ecstatic art. Even I know that the roots of terror were sown by that baba-e-barbaadi General Zia ul Haq (subverting the legacy of our great baba-e-azaadi Muhammad Ali Jinnah). But we’re all hypocrites in this Land of the Pure. “They” who should be doing nothing but rooting out the terror they’ve spawned, are busy toppling the government. And I’m busy giving 50 crore to the madrassah that has produced most of these terrorists.
Ah well, tomorrow’s another day, and I’ll be riding my PanamaLeaks hobby horse. My war against corruption, but not terrorism, is much appreciated. In gratitude, my adoring fans have been sending me mangoes and cherries ever since the season began. They’re now sending me cakes and sweets too, in preparation for Eid. Everyone knows I love shortbread. The other day I was presented with a tin of Fortnum & Mason’s shortbread biscuits, sent specially by a PTI supporter in London.
Trouble was, the biscuits were all made in animal likenesses. There was a mouse, a dog, a sheep, a fish, a pig, a cow, a monkey, a snake and a chicken biscuit. Just before I bit into the mouse, a thought struck me, as it does every now and then. Are these animal biscuits halal or haram, I wondered. After much cogitation, I came to the conclusion that only those animal biscuits are halal which are animals that are halal. Whereupon I immediately polished off the sheep biscuit, fish biscuit, cow biscuit and chicken biscuit. I returned the pig biscuit to the sender in London because it’s fine for people like him who live in the pagan West. I sent the mouse biscuit, the monkey biscuit and the snake biscuit to the Chinese ambassador in Islamabad.
Meanwhile, while waiting for Nawaz to be toppled, I’ve instructed everyone to be on television talk shows spewing rubbish where all our arguments should be wonderfully hollow, bogus and beautifully misleading.
Ah well, tomorrow’s another day, and I’ll be riding my PanamaLeaks hobby horse. My war against corruption, but not terrorism, is much appreciated. In gratitude, my adoring fans have been sending me mangoes and cherries ever since the season began. They’re now sending me cakes and sweets too, in preparation for Eid. Everyone knows I love shortbread. The other day I was presented with a tin of Fortnum & Mason’s shortbread biscuits, sent specially by a PTI supporter in London.
Trouble was, the biscuits were all made in animal likenesses. There was a mouse, a dog, a sheep, a fish, a pig, a cow, a monkey, a snake and a chicken biscuit. Just before I bit into the mouse, a thought struck me, as it does every now and then. Are these animal biscuits halal or haram, I wondered. After much cogitation, I came to the conclusion that only those animal biscuits are halal which are animals that are halal. Whereupon I immediately polished off the sheep biscuit, fish biscuit, cow biscuit and chicken biscuit. I returned the pig biscuit to the sender in London because it’s fine for people like him who live in the pagan West. I sent the mouse biscuit, the monkey biscuit and the snake biscuit to the Chinese ambassador in Islamabad.
Meanwhile, while waiting for Nawaz to be toppled, I’ve instructed everyone to be on television talk shows spewing rubbish where all our arguments should be wonderfully hollow, bogus and beautifully misleading.
Im the Dim