Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Behind the baton


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According to Express (June 21, 2015) Pakistani policemen are beaten up (chhitrol) with batons during their training. Thus they learn how to use sticks on the common people (lathiyan barsana). They avenge their own abuse by abusing the public.

Shahbaz Sharif impresses German diplomats


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Jang says (June 21, 2015) German diplomats were pleasantly surprised (khushgawar hairat ka izhar) when Punjab Chief Minister Shahbaz Sharif spoke with them fluently in German. They praised his command over the language.

Asifa’s mobile phone stolen in Naudero


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Reported in Dunya (June 22, 2015) Asifa Bhutto-Zardari’s mobile phone was stolen at the celebration of Benazir Bhutto’s birth anniversary in Naudero.

PPP workers fight over food 


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Nawa-e-Waqt reports (June 22, 20150 People’s Party workers began fighting each other over food at the celebration of Benazir Bhutto’s birth anniversary in Islamabad. They abused each other and shouted slogans against the local leadership. Women workers didn’t even get plain water for Iftar and left without eating.

‘Bald campaign’ against load shedding 


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Nine men from a neighborhood in Kamaliya shaved their heads in protest against load shedding, reports Dunya (June 23, 2015). They said they had started a ‘bald campaign’ (takla muhim) against the government.

Children take father to court over school fees


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Reported in Jang (June 23, 2015) two boys, 8 and 10, have taken their father to court for not paying their school fees. A guardian court ordered the man to pay for their school fee and other expenses.

The rise of ‘undertaker mafia’


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According to Express (June 24, 2015) after a large number of people died because of a heat wave in Karachi, an ‘undertaker mafia’ emerged in Karachi, charging up to Rs 50,000 per grave, and taking bribes to allot spaces in graveyards.

Reham Khan parks in ‘no parking’ area


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Dunya reports (June 25, 2015) Imran Khan’s wife Reham Khan parked her car in a no-parking area on The Mall in Murree. She was given a parking ticket.

Handcuffs without keys 


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Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt (June 25, 2015) when an angry judge told police to remove the handcuffs of a man who was in illegal detention, they did not have the keys. They broke the chain with a brick, but could not open the cuffs.

Map mishap


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According to Jang (June 26, 2015) a geography textbook for Class 8 students in Punjab included maps of Saraikistan and Hazara provinces. More than 200,000 copies of the textbook had been sent to schools. Two lower staff were suspended over the mistake.