I don’t understand nation. Pakistan should remain Pakistan but PIA should be British Airway, hain ji? Pakistan should remain Pakistan but cricket team should be South Africa, hain ji? Pakistan should remain Pakistan but Senate election should be House of Lord, hain ji? Pakistan should remain Pakistan but I should be Winston Churchill, hain ji? Well, it’s not possible, meray aziz humwatno. We are what we are, hain ji? And anyways, our cricket players have been performing their best – in tally viyion adverts. I have told Information Ministry to commission two new books for our cricketers: “Catcher In The Cry” and “A Tale of Two Runs”.
What to say of Senate election? It has become free far all. It has also affected brain of many applicants. I gave list of short questions to some applicants far tickets. When I went to room where they were, one was sitting in his underwear diligently writing on answer sheet. Shocked, I said, “w-w-what is meaning of this?” He gave me vacant stare and said, “it is written here that answer questions in brief”.
One question I gave to determine religious commitment of candidate was: “Which drink you will order if you go to bar and man on right says ‘Johnnie Walker, single’ and man on left says, ‘Jack Daniels, single’, hain ji?” Candidate wearing briefs answered: “Sardar Khan, married”. Therefore I gave him pass.
When I came home and switched on tally viyion, I saw Misbah getting out to West Indies. Dejected, I decided to watch fillum. I watched it fife times. Reason: there’s a scene in the movie where heroine on banks of river is about to disrobe. Then suddenly, train passes by and view is obscured. I saw movie fife times hoping train will come late one day.
Dejected, I went into next room and flung myself on sofa. Accidentally, vase on coffee table tottered and broke. My ADC rushed to pick up pieces, “Oh ho, Mian Sahab, that was very old Ming vase presented to late Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto by Chairman Mao”. “Thanks God!” I breathed, “I thought it was brand new!”
What to say of Senate election? It has become free far all. It has also affected brain of many applicants. I gave list of short questions to some applicants far tickets. When I went to room where they were, one was sitting in his underwear diligently writing on answer sheet. Shocked, I said, “w-w-what is meaning of this?” He gave me vacant stare and said, “it is written here that answer questions in brief”.
One question I gave to determine religious commitment of candidate was: “Which drink you will order if you go to bar and man on right says ‘Johnnie Walker, single’ and man on left says, ‘Jack Daniels, single’, hain ji?” Candidate wearing briefs answered: “Sardar Khan, married”. Therefore I gave him pass.
When I came home and switched on tally viyion, I saw Misbah getting out to West Indies. Dejected, I decided to watch fillum. I watched it fife times. Reason: there’s a scene in the movie where heroine on banks of river is about to disrobe. Then suddenly, train passes by and view is obscured. I saw movie fife times hoping train will come late one day.
Dejected, I went into next room and flung myself on sofa. Accidentally, vase on coffee table tottered and broke. My ADC rushed to pick up pieces, “Oh ho, Mian Sahab, that was very old Ming vase presented to late Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto by Chairman Mao”. “Thanks God!” I breathed, “I thought it was brand new!”
NS