Ittefaq Nama

Ittefaq Nama
I was on dite, meray aziz humtano, a very strict dite, hoping to loose 30 ponds. Until I started reading the newspapers. Behanak and highly disturbing newses. I read that visiting US Secretary of State John Kerry met General Bobby. I saw photo of General Bobby shaking hands with prime minister David Cameron in 10 Downing Street. I read that he got guard of horror at West Minister Royal Barracks.

In a fit of rag, I picked up phoon and called Defence Minister. “Haw this is happening, hain ji? Army chief is simply head of a government department. Haw he can meet PM Cameron, hain ji, and US Secretary of State?” Defence Minister said, “You are right Your Highness, but please don’t worry. Go back to your dite”. I got annoyed, “What is meaning? I command you to immediately see General Bobby and tell him this is not on. He can’t call on British PM and US Secretary of State. I will not alloy it”. Defence Minister said he would gladly go but he had to have stomach operation. “But you had operation last month. Why you are needing it again?” I asked. “Because doctor forgot his plastic gloves inside me”. I replied, “Never mind. Tell doctor I will buy him new pair.”

Then Defence Minister said he was feeling dizzy. “What is matter now?” I asked exasperated. “I am seeing spots before my eyes”. “Have you seen a doctor?” I asked. “No, just big black spots,” he said. I called Finance Minister Ishaq Dar Saab. “Dar Saab, Dar Saab, look at! Dekho zara! What is happening to my ministers? We need some emergency action for welfare of cabinet”. He said, “I know exactly the thing. Please install Valium fountain in cabinet room.”

What a useless! I decided to go back to my dite and make low calorie dishes. Fust was egg white omelet. Recipe said beat four egg whites separately. I got four same size bowels from PM House kitchen for separate beatings. No sooner I had started that Imran Khan got married. I had great idea. I think I will send him chocolate mouse as mithai.

Kind retards,

NS