Such Gup

Such Gup

Bomb proof


The buzz is that the soon-to-retire head honcho of the Invisible Soldiers Inc., has been moved to a special bomb proof house in Rawalpindi. This residence was built when the present head honcho’s predecessor retired so that men so placed can be protected from possible attack after they leave office. This facility is apparently available to retirees for a year after stepping down. There is one caveat, however, and that is that if the danger is assessed to be real and present after the year is over, occupancy of the house can be extended.

The real reason


There’s much speculation in the press about why Friar TuQ is cheesed off with Chory Shuj of Guj. Actually, it’s the other way round. The Chories are cheesed off with Friar TuQ. The real reason for this acrimony is that the Friar has been asking (and getting) financial support from the Chories. As a precondition for attending his Lahore jalsa, they say, Friar TuQ asked the Chories for Rs 3 crore which they refused to give. Differences were so acute that both parties threatened to hold press conferences against each other but “friends” intervened to call a ceasefire.

Not what it used to be


An American scholar who recently published a book on Pakistan was visiting London from Washington DC. This is what she had to say about her visit: “Holy crap! My driver KNOWINGLY parked illegally at Heathrow. The dude who wrote the ticket said, ‘give me £ 5 and I’ll tear it up”. He did. And before y’all say anything: the bribe taker was a white dude. Right in front of me with my mouth gaping”. The British reputation for probity is not what it used to be.