Ittefaq Nama

Ittefaq Nama
See it, meray aziz humwatno. Dekh lo! Once again, generals are doing their own wishes in metter of Musharraf. La applies only to politicians, journalists and aam admi. No la applies to generals. Handcuffs apply only to politicians, journalists and aam admi. No handcuffs apply to generals. Banishment applies only to politicians, journalists and aam admi. No banishment applies to generals. Capital punishment applies only to politicians, journalists and aam admi. No capital punishment applies to generals.

And here I am, in the middle and muddle of it all.  I sent them message that we cannot continue to play cat and mouse. Musharraf must be produced in court. They sent message back that we will meet you at 1600 hours at GHQ, Rawalpindi, Islamic Republic of Pakistan. Of course I didn’t go. They sent message at 1700 hours by Blackbarry Mssinger. “Where you are?” I replied by Blackbarry Mssinger, “What’s to you?”

Next day was twenty thud March, Pakistan Day. Faujis started marching up and down Constitution Avenue, blaring from loud speakers, “Atten SHUN”. I told Defence Minister Khawaja Asif, “tell them they can carry on shotting ‘Attention’. It is use lass. I have Attention Deficit Disorder, hain ji”.

Then Chory Nisar and Shbaz Saab suggested that I should make goodwill gesture. So I invited several retired generals to tea. I told them I was going to propose their alma mater for this year’s No Bell Peace Prize. They all gave me dagger looks. “Have a sense of humour,” I said, “and let’s pose for photograph. We’ll make a Get Well Soon card of it and caption it: ‘All The Old Jokes Together Again’”. Chory Saab and Shbaz Saab said I needed to do more. So I sent generals a message by Blackbarry Mssinger: “Our country is your country. Please be reasonable”. Their reply came: “If your country is our country, hands off our property”.  After that, I rang up Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and told him whole sorry sarson ka saga. He said, “Oh ho, terrible, Mian Saab. My generals are angels”. I said, “You’re lucky Sardar Saab. Mine are still alive.”

NS