Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Police raids dance party, saves Islam


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Reported in Ausaf, Aabpara police raided a dance party at Jasmine Gardens and arrested the immoral youth, and thus saved Islam. It congratulates the Aabpara station-house officer.

Chaudhry Nisar and the pious journalists 


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Nusrat Javeed says in Express that Chaudhry Nisar Ali Khan never gives exclusive time to journalists, except those who hate the US and pray five times a day.

Qaim Ali Shah’s shoes stolen


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Jang reports that Sindh Chief Minister Qaim Ali Shah’s shoes were stolen at a mosque in Daulatpoor. The commissioner offered Shah his own shoes but they were too big. Finally, a constable’s shoes fit him.

The Mughal prime minister 


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Jasarat says in its editorial that Nawaz Sharif runs the country like a Mughal emperor every time he becomes prime minister. He thinks all the institutions are to serve him.

Parliament is the graveyard of democracy


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Sheikh Rashid tells Jasarat that the parliament is the graveyard of democracy. The prime minister never visits the parliament.

The power-hungry Maulana


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Reported in Jasarat, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Chief Minister Parvez Khattak says Maulana Fazlur Rehman is a hypocrite who always wants to be in power. He was ready to dance to the US tune to become prime minister.

God punishing Pakistan for siding with US


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Writing in Jang, Ansar Abbasi says the terrorist attacks in Mastung, Bannu and Rawalpindi took place because God is unhappy with Pakistan, and God is unhappy because Pakistan sided with the US in the war on terror.

Looking good in a fake video


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Tahir Sarwar Mir writes in Dunya that when film star Noor said to film star Meera that she should not have recorded the controversial leaked video clip, Meera said it was fake. But when Noor said she was looking good in it, Meera said thank you.

KP run by women in jeans 


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Quoted in Express, Fazlur Rehman says Khyber Pakhtunkhwa is run by NGOs. Jeans-clad women of Islamabad come to the province to make policies for it.

The killer goddess of Bangladesh


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Hafiz Idrees writes in his column in Jasarat that Sheikh Hasina, the prime minister of Bangladesh, is Dracula. In the title of the column, he calls her a killer goddess (Qatil Devi).

If Musharraf leaves the country


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Ahsan Iqbal tells Jang that he will quit politics if Gen (r) Pervez Musharraf is allowed to leave the country.

Asma Jehangir speaks the language of dollars


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Imran Khan tells Jasarat that Asma Jehangir speaks the language of dollars. She is a lackey of the US.